Once Again, The Meds I Need The Most I Can’t Take

Well, guess what. That wonder drug that the new doc put me on 3 days ago is RAISING MY BLOOD PRESSURE. I just read tonight that prednisone can also raise blood pressure…..just like every single NSAID on the face of the earth. And I am full of inflammation, just busting full of it.

So I am faced with two choices. Take the medicine, relieve the pain, and take a chance of having a stroke or heart attack or thrombosis (which is extremely likely since I’ve had high blood pressure since my 20’s)……OR……..take nothing for the inflammation, have a greater chance of survival, and live with varying degrees of extreme pain every day for the rest of my life. And have to severely limit my activity to protect my feet from further damage.

I’ve been told by a friend of mine that I should just forget about the blood pressure and treat the pain. No one should live in this much pain, she says…. and just screw the consequences. Better to have a quality of life than long life in misery.

I agree with that in theory. Of course. Very easy to say when you are not the one feeling the tightness of your chest constrict when your BP starts shooting through the roof a few hours after you take an anti-inflammatory drug. When your chest gets so tight you have a hard time drawing in breath. When your head feels like it’s so full it’s going to bust wide open. When your eyes feel like they are going to pop right out of your face.  hypertension-result  Whoever said you can’t “feel” high blood pressure symptoms are WRONG. I can feel it, I’m an expert, I’ve had it for 30+ years.

So yeah, in a fairy tale, I would just take the drugs I need to control the inflammation and pain, and just cast my fate to the wind and if I die, oh well…..at least I would have had less pain for the shortened time here on earth. That just sounds so lovely, like a story book.

Unfortunately, the anxiety I feel when my blood pressure goes into a shooting spike, and when the numbers won’t even register on the blood pressure machine and it spits out an “ERROR” message…..that anxiety right there is equal to the extreme pain I feel in my body.

So what am I supposed to do?  I have several illnesses that cause high inflammation in my body, including the tendency (inherited) for high blood pressure as well. I currently take 4 blood pressure medicines and still my pressure goes up and down like a teeter totter. cardiosystem  My father died 26 years ago TODAY after suffering a major stroke during carotid artery surgery. He lived in a vegetative state for a year before he died on October 11, 1987. So I always have that hanging over my head.

I’m sorry but all the lovely platitudes about just taking my chances with high blood pressure, ignoring the numbers, and taking the pain relieving drugs sounds like a great idea…..if you are not the one living in my body. To someone else, the decision might be crystal clear. It’s just not that simple.

I am angry that I have been cursed with illnesses that cause high blood pressure, and the very medicines that could relieve alot of my suffering I cannot (or should not) take because they exacerbate my high blood pressure and could cause a cardiovascular event. My anger does not help matters. Neither does the extreme pain. Both of those can also raise blood pressure. So…..there you have it. The big conundrum.  handholdingpills And I have been bouncing around back and forth for years, trying to decide which is the worst of two evils. Now that I am getting older, getting to “that age”…..the age my dad was when he died…..I just turned 58 on September 22. And it freaks me out.

I guess I just need to come to terms with the fact that nobody lives forever. I can’t predict my own demise whether or not I take certain drugs. My time will be up when it’s up. I will pass away when my time is over. I just don’t want to hasten things by consuming drugs that drastically increase my odds of dying sooner rather than later.

So……that’s about it. It’s a very difficult situation. That’s about all I can say.


About teeks55

I'm a sleep deprived antique dealer with fibromyalgia, RA, diabetes & more. Love hubby, cats, books & humor! Avid tea drinker. Poker player. Pain fighter.
This entry was posted in Aging, Anger, Bitterness, Challenges, Chronic Illness, Depression, Emotions, Endurance, Fear, Health, High Blood Pressure, Life Journey, Medication, Prednisone, Sadness, Self Hate, Self Love, Side Effects and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Once Again, The Meds I Need The Most I Can’t Take

  1. tlohuis says:

    I’m so sorry you are faced with choices like this. Does your pain medication actually work? Not the Prednisone because you don’t want to be on that long term, it is horrible for you. I think I told you that my mom is steroid dependent because of her autoimmune disease, she’s on it for life and they told her that eventually her spine will crumble on her. Real nice. Now, like me, my pain medication doesn’t even work that well. It takes the edge off just a little and I’m still suffering, so in my case, I would stop the pain med. I don’t know what to tell you. I wish I had the answer. I don’t understand why they cannot get your BP down with 4 BP meds. That’s crazy. I get low BP, like 64/24 that’s to the point your organs start to shut down, they put me in ICU. Shit, I can’t even die from that low of a BP. I don’t even care any more. I’m ready when my number is up. I’m just sitting here waiting. Sad, but true. When you live with the intense, unbearable chronic pain that we do, that’s what happens because, I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to lay here for 50 more years in this much pain. Just sayin…………………I’ve had staph, abcess, cellulitis right after surgery and I couldn’t even die from that. I thought I was going to and I think they thought I was going to, too. You don’t call the chaplain in for the hell of it, especially when the patient is out of it. I spent 18 days there and that didn’t even kill me. I’m dehydrated and malnourished all the time because I can’t eat, do you think that kills me? Oh, hell no! For some damn reason God wants me to suffer. I don’t know why. I’ve always been a good person. I will do anything for anyone. I will give you my last penny if you need it worse than I do, I’ve always been that way. I’ve done some self destructive things to myself over the years, but would never harm a flea. I wish I had the answers for you. I wish I could help you. I wish you didn’t have to suffer so much. Then the anxiety kicks in. I know all about it. Then there’s the depression and on and on. It’s not much of a life, but I’ve been told I have to stay here for everyone else. so, as long as I’m in this bed suffering and they can see me and walk out the door, then they are happy and it doesn’t matter what I think or feel about it. Like I’ve said in a previous post, we treat animals with more dignity than humans. don’t get me wrong, I am a huge animal lover and I believe in not making animals suffer, but what the hell about us? Here we go again, girl. Please rest and I’ll be praying for you. You got all those antiques you need to get back out and selling, doing what you enjoy most out of life. I enjoy nothing any more. Sorry, but it’s true. It hurts to be alive, physically and emotionally. That’s just about enough negativity out of me tonight. doing real good on letting it go, aren’t I?
    Great big HUGS my friend,

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