Turn In The Corner….


despair2

Another turn in the corner

another bend in the road

another part of my body

another pain episode

~*~*~*~

           Just when I feel like I’ve handled

all that I possibly can

along comes another catastrophe

for reasons I don’t understand

~*~*~*~

I feel like I’ve paid enough dues now

for countless lifetimes, that is sure

yet over and over I pay them

because there is never a cure

~*~*~*~

Chronic pain is such a nightmare

I can’t ever waken up from

it goes on for ever and ever

a curse that never is done

~*~*~*~

It robs me of all that I long for

of everything life’s supposed to be

it steals away all of the laughter

and all that makes me feel free.

~*~*~*~

I’ve lost so many hours of time

meant for happier things

for experiences, memories and times of

my life that were yet to be.

~*~*~*~

Now all these thirty years later

I look back at all I’ve endured

I cry for all that I’ve lost and

I mourn for those times, so obscured

~*~*~*~

So for now I’ll go back to my bed

and I’ll do what I always must do

I’ll walk with my heart heavy-laden

in this four-walled world that I know

despair4

And I’ll listen to the screams of my body

I’ll tend to the aches and the pain

I’ll wish for the sunlight out my window

but instead I’ll only see rain

~*~*~*~

Tomorrow won’t be any different

an un-ending reel, all the same

just trying to survive all this madness

just trying to win this sick game

~*~*~*~

Trying to find a few glimpses

of life, as it’s supposed to be

but all that I really find is

an empty shell that was me

~*~*~*~

It’s just another turn in the corner

another bend in the road

someday I’ll hope to find answers

the why’s for my impossible load

despair3

Someday I hope to find peace and

freedom and joy and some light

I hope there’s a reason I existed

a reason I fought the good fight.

~*~*~*~

(this poem is the intellectual property of The Nocturnal Laundress ~ Julie Nichols © 2016)

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About teeks55

I'm a sleep deprived antique dealer with fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, diabetes & more. Love hubby, cats, books & humor! Avid tea drinker. Poker player. Pain fighter.
This entry was posted in Arthritis, Challenges, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Depression, Discouragement, Emotions, Endurance, Fibromyalgia, Flare Up, Health, Hopelessness, Isolation, Life Journey, Osteoarthritis, Past Experiences, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Sadness, Survival. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Turn In The Corner….

  1. Trisha says:

    I like the way you’ve expressed this but I don’t like that you’re going through it. I hope that sun appears out the window for you.

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